Prelude
Instrumental

For a Loner
Coming Home
Caught myself a plane in New Mexico
Coming Home
Two thousand miles and four long months
Is it different now
That I'm home?
Now that I'm home
I'm home

The sound of your voice
Reassures me
Makes me want to forget
All of things that have gone before
But the things that you do,
The questions you ask,
And that look in your eyes
Betray you

Tell me why
In your smile
Something's missing
Is it me
Or
Is it you?

Thoughts of you
Float in the night
Confusing my mind
As to what is right

Tell me why
In your smile
Something's missing
Is it me
Or
Is it him?

The sound of your voice
Reassures me
Makes me want to forget
All of the things that have gone before
But the things that you do,
The questions you ask,
And that look in your eyes
Betray you

All alone

Dreaming
Instrumental

Waiting
Waiting on the shore
For the wave to break
And go on

Listening to the wind
Blow across the trees
When I'm home

All these things I can see
When you're in my arms
And close to me

I will wait for you
If you want me to
But remember
That it's hard to know
When go, on my own

Waiting for the leaves
To give up the trees
And let go

Watching for the sign
That the sun is here
To melt the snow

All these things I can see
When you're in my arms
And close to me

Serenade
Instrumental

Shades of Gray
Against the black of night
Lie the points of white
Then the light of day
Leads the night away

Here I stand alive
Faced towards the day I die
I rise with the sun
Fall asleep when day is done

Until the dreams roll by
And force me to again ask Why

But now I think I see
A reason why
I long to see the world
As nothing more than black or white
I remember now the days of my youth when I had
Eyes that looked out and saw everything as good or bad
But now I look for someone who can find a way
To take away the gray

I look in the mirror and see my end
I look inside and see my friend

We talk for hours
Night and day
And together
We've found a way
To turn away from the gray

Piano Interlude
Instrumental

Nola's Untitled Tune
So much for broken promises
I seem to have a knack for finding
More than my share

Too much placed in rusted confidences
Someone always tries to pull too hard
'Till something snaps

I'm thinking about that time
I was driving you home,
Driving through the rain
I'm thinking about that rain
When I think of rain
I think of you

Enough,
Of playing hard to get

I quit showing just how I feel
All I ever really seem to do
Is scare people away

I'm seeing you and me
Out having fun
Dinner and wine
I'm thinking about that wine
When I drink that wine
I'll think of you

What Could it Be
Why did I turn away
I don't really know
I just didn't know what to say
So I just said no

I could see the
Feelings in your eyes
No, I was not blind
I didn't want to see you cry
I didn't mean to be unkind
Could it be
We just were not for each other
Afraid to share the love we held inside
Never destined to have one another
Or could it be,
I'm sorry

Why did I turn from you
I don't really know
I just didn't know what to do
So I let you go

I just couldn't cope with
Those feelings that you shared with me
The pain that they might have caused us
Was all that I could see

Could it be
We just were not for each other
Afraid to share the love we held inside
Never destined to have one another
Or could it be
That maybe, just maybe
I'm sorry

Stay if You Care
It's hard when it's easy
With all the comforts of home
There's an urge there to sight-see

Sleep all day
Sleep all night if you like
Have your way
And take the leisure of life
But you had to see what it was like outside
Take a shot at flyin' it too high
But trust me babe,
I'll never tell you a lie

Stay if you care
You know that you can do as you please
Leave if you dare
Chasing after leaves on the breeze

He seemed so nice
His voice and manner were cool
Dressed in white
There wasn't much you could do
You know you could have turned and run
But you had to stay and look for more fun
He trapped you babe
And made you look like a fool

Stay if you care
You know that you can do as you please
Leave if you dare
Chasing after leaves in the breeze

No way out
You were locked in a cage
You joined that crowd
That were fooled the same way

I'd trade a small fortune
To keep that look in your eyes
That moment I found you
You knew you'd paid the price
Now you're gettin' up from that fall
Ah, the good life ain't so bad after all
Like I told you baby
I'll never tell you a lie

(First verse repeats)

Morning Girl
The sun comes up and I see
Your smiling face today
And I know that smile
Is gonna make me feel
That very special way

I don't know how you do it
Must be something
That you get from the rays
When the sun comes up
And I see your face

All that I will ever need to see
Is you, my morning girl

The morning sun seems much brighter
When it gets to smile with you
And I never knew that "good morning"
Could ever sound so sweet,
Or be so true

I'm amazed how you do it
Smile when I can barely open my eyes
And see the morning sun
Still shines for you

All that I will ever need to hold
Is you, my morning girl

The sun comes up and I see
Your smiling face again
And I know that smile
Is gonna show me morning
Like it has never been

I don't care how you do it
All I know is I wait every day
For when the sun comes up and
I see your face
All that I will ever need to see
All that I will ever need to hold
All that I will ever need to know
Is you, my morning girl

Hyrn
Instrumental

Fragments
Contemplation
I lean back
And watch the sighing leaves
As the breeze
Flows between my mind
And my windy thoughts
Are turned to you
Somehow I knew
You wouldn't always be here

Remembering
Two in the morning
Nothing to do

Introspection
Thoughts
That I've tried to form
In my mind
At night
And words
That I've tried to say
Haunt my mind
At night

Dreaming
Two in the morning
Nothing to do
Lying here alone
Playing my guitar for you
But you're not here
As I play your song
You can't hear
What I've waited so long
To say to you

Realization
All of these feelings
That I have kept inside
While you could see right through

I need you much more
Than I could ever say
I need - I need you

Reconciliation
You are happy
As it should be for you
And somehow I knew
It wouldn't be with me

Nature of the Intention, Part 2
Talking all night long
Trying to say what's on our minds
Wondering if we heard
Just what we said
Or what we meant

What did I say
What did you hear
What is the source

I turn my head
to look in your eyes to see what you meant
Do you look back at me
To see if my look means
I heard what you said?

What do I see
Is it real
Or in my mind?
Does the cloud that slips between
Hide what we hope to find
I cannot know
Working on a thought
Trying to know
Why I did what I did
But the further I look
The more that I see
And the more that there is

Why do I ask
What did I mean?
Does the cloud obscure a thread
In the mind that remains unseen?
We cannot know

Evil Tempered
Instrumental

Moments
In a moment of light
We were free
The story is known, but forgotten
It's the nature of moments
That they flee
We don't even know where they've gotten

In a moment the darkness
Will be near
The torches are lit, but they smother
It's in the nature of darkness
To bring fear
And fear of the light is it's mother

In a movement to light
We will see
The spirits of truth and of freedom
While it's the nature of spirits to be free
It's the nature of fear to defeat them

Unfinished Dreams
All songs © 1995 Johnny Klonaris
This recording © 1995 Johnny Klonaris

These songs have been composed over the last several years, from about 1977 through the end of 1992. The music on the disc was recorded over the last two years in my home. I played what I could and got the computer to play what I couldn't. All of the guitar, acoustic piano and vocal work was performed by me. On all of the other tracks, you get to guess.

I let the computer compose, in a sense, on the drone portion of Evil Tempered; it was played by a C-128 computer running a BASIC program that I wrote.

Evil Tempered is also different from the other songs in that it uses a different tuning (or temperament). The notes are not evenly spaced like they are in most western music; the scale I used is based directly on the overtones of the fundamental up through the 25th harmonic. I doubt this is new, but I've never seen a scale quite like this - probably for good reason. I also played a bit with the tuning of the guitars. On the 12-string especially, I used a kind of stretch tuning and where more than one guitar was involved, I intentionally detuned them to give a form of natural chorusing. For those of you who might be interested, I've used the following tools in creating this album:
Ensoniq VFX synthesizer, Mirage sampler and DP/4 effects unit; Alesis 1622 mixing board, SR-16 drum machine, MEQ-230 30 band EQ, Monitor 1 studio monitors and RA-100 amplifier; Roland MT-32 synthesizer module; Commodore Amiga 500 and C-128 computers (believe it); Blue Ribbon Soundworks Bars and Pipes Pro composing/sequencing software for the Amiga; Audio-technica ATM-31 and AT-802 microphones; Peavey PVM-580TN microphone; Tascam TSR-8 multitrack recorder and DA-30 DAT recorder; Yamaha REX-50 effects unit, DD-5 drum pad and G-10 classical guitar; Numark 10 band EQ; Ibanez AD 202 analog delay and bass guitar, El Degas 12-string guitar, Ovation 6-string guitar, IC (cheap copy) Les Paul style electic guitar with homebrew electronics, a few things I cobbled up, a few things I'm too embarrased to mention, and vox humana.

All of the music on this disc was created by one person. However, not without some help.

I want to thank all the folks who tolerated my going on about this thing (it has been my life for the last two years) and for all the listening and helpful comments. I especially want to thank Dale, Dan (OK, you were right), John (so were you), Todd, Frances, Mark, Mark, Steve, Chuck and Kevin. It's been hard being objective and all of the comments have been considered and appreciated.

Of course I also want to thank my Mom and Dad for the obvious and not so obvious.

I'd like to give a hearty thanks to Jerry Dorsch for his 12-string magic: you saved my baby, thanks!

I need to give a very special thanks to Dale Holod for all of his help and particularly for the incredible artwork he did for the cover.

Thank-you my friend, your art has been a source of inspiration for me through the home stretch.

I've had a pretty amazing time doing this and frankly I'm more than a little surprised that I actually finished. I suppose that doing pretty much everything myself seems a bit self-indulgent, and I guess it is, but it was fun and I learned a lot. I can't generally beat that.

Catharsis Records West
P.O. Box 361203
Milpitas, Ca 95035-1203

Note: P.O. Box is no longer available: try email.

along with your address. For every ten of those dollars you send me, I'll send you one of these discs. No postage, no handling: money for music, plain and simple. If you want a lot of them, hey we can work something out; drop me a line.

If you'd like to be on a mailing list for things related to this album, send your address to me at the above P.O. box or, for those of you on the bit plane, you can catch me at jawknee@webcom.com I've got a couple of things in mind for the future if you're interested. Also, we're thinking of making a frameable poster of the cover art available. Let me know if you're interested - we'll keep the price as reasonable as we can and we'll let you know when and they're available. I promise I won't give out your name.

Finally, some more thanks to Mark Burton at the Blue Ribbon Soundworks, Howard Wooten for those great MT-32 patch collections, Ensoniq and Alesis for their great toys (not bad for a couple of pre-teens), Mike Fischer of Discmakers and of course, you the listener.

Enjoy.

San Jose, California
October, 1994

Johnny Klonaris (Jaw-knee Clone-heiress) was born in Battle Creek, Michigan, January 24, 1956. Raised in Belleville, Michigan, and having attended the University of Michigan, he headed to California for four years as a lieutenant in the world's greatest air force. Since then it's been bits for money and money for toys.